THE question

It is asked furtively, soda voce, in code or euphemism.
"Do you have any metrics?"
"How's it doing?"
Rarely right on point: "how many books have you sold?"
Answer is never cryptic: I have no idea.

Really. No clue. I could take a better stab at answering the question of how to bring down health care costs, or what gift you’re getting from your spouse/parent/kids next Christmas (probably a sweater).

Book sales...I don’t know – even though there has been ample opportunity to ask my agent, publisher, and various folks I know who have access to the sales numbers from Bookscan.

What would be the point?

Some background about the book business – most of which you doubtless know. Authors get paid an advance. This is a typically modest amount but can vary widely. The authors don’t get paid again until the publisher sells enough books to have broken even on the advance. How many books? Depends on the advance (and a bunch of other publisher “expenses,” like “marketing” and “miscellaneous” and “because we can.” I digress).

Until my publisher has recouped the advance and his other expenses, I don’t see another dime. Without disclosing my advance (which fell on the continuum between modest and healthy), it’ll be many months, if at all, before there are enough sales to bring in more dough.

This is not to suggest that I’m in it for the money. If you’re in the writing business to make big money, then your medication has probably run out.

But the other reasons to track book sales are even less worthwhile. I could check to pad or undermine my ego. But since I can’t control how many sales there are, checking for my ego’s sake would fall on the continuum between idiotic and my-medication-has-run-out. (note: mom, the only thing I take regularly is benedryl for the periodic cold. Also, I like doughnuts).

I care about sales for one primary reason. I loved writing Hooked and I’d like to have the capacity to sell another one. If Hooked don’t sell, the odds of selling another one ain’t as good. Still, even if sales aren’t good, I’m not precluded from writing another book – even if it don’t sell – so that’s where I’m putting my energy. Writing.

That would be a nice and nifty tale of fine mental health. Except. There’s probably another component, which you doubtless know. Fear. I wouldn’t put it past me to be to ignore the sales numbers because I fear I’ll learn that the only buyers of my book are family members and people to whom I owe money. Though, I suppose, those two groups combined are large enough that sales could still be in the thousands. Maybe I should borrow more.

In short, the answer is: I don’t know. Hopefully enough sales to someday buy more doughnuts.